words hurt

Such a bummer. It turns out that no matter how good you feel about yourself, how secure you believe you are, how comfortable you are in your own skin, how resilient you believe your heart is, some people can still hurt you with their words.

As innocuous as some statements appear to be on the outside, questioning a person's judgement, their motives, their intentions, challenging their ideas, their character, their personality, and labelling them as "wrong" just plain stings. Especially when the speaker is someone valued, cherished, and dare I say, loved to a certain extent. I suppose the idea that what they're telling me is the truth in their eyes, and being as it adds to the self-loathing and insecurity I already battle with daily, hurts deeper than it would were I already not trying so hard. Am I at fault? Are my values off? Am I doomed to fail in the world of relationships? Fuck you doubt, I hate your pervasive ass.

I've tried to be very careful with my words because I'm aware of how dangerous and damaging they can be. Whether this has made me hyper-sensitive to words directed at me or not, I do not know. One thing is for sure, pain makes for strong memories, and motivations. 

Cheers.