evolution always wins

I've always been a fan of evolution; you take something, you add in a little variety of DNA, you make it better. Simple right? With each successive generation of an organism it becomes more and more adept at living in the world. I've also argued that we humans have taken evolution and thrown it out the window; that in order to have a society, we have to become "civilized" and instead of throwing out the weaker, i.e. less suited, generations of humans we must pick them up, help them out, and and guide them into the future. That is what I use to make my case that we have snubbed the natural order of things and stopped our evolution, because really we are no different than our ancestors 10,000 years ago.

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[none]

Why? Why, in the vastness of all possible universes, with all of the potential outcomes, with the innumerable alternate realities, with the infinite number of seemingly disconnected variables passing through all forms of arithmetic calculations never leading to the same result, does everything I seem to do lead to the same contemptuous disappointing finale? With the seemingly endless store of knowledge I have regarding psychology, cognitive behavior, psychohistory, social sciences and the like, I still seem to make the same choices, to trip over the same mistakes, to repeat the same errors and reap the benefits of the malfeasance I gladly swallow every day only to regret it tomorrow. It is profoundly upsetting to sit here and remember the countless faces associated with the growing number of names that I have, for lack of a better word, wronged in my hopelessly futile attempt to find ... something. I'm not even sure where to begin, and even now I'm not even sure I'm able to end, the devastating onslaught my person has ravaged upon this world. Alphabetical? Chronological? Categorical? It really makes no difference; even the acknowledgement itself seems too little, too late to appease the gods, karma and the poor individuals whose hearts suffered while under the care of these hands. So, I won't. You know who you are, though I seriously doubt you're reading here, or ever will; and I sincerely hope you do not.

The path of destruction in my wake eats at my psyche every single day, burning away my already too frayed soul; no forgiveness to be had from either the flock of prey or the predator himself. 

phone that never rings

It's called irony; the fact that I love love love phones, handsets, devices, whatever you wish to call them and love buying bigger and better ones, but never use them.

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crush

Crush is such a wonderful word. Not only is it the name of a wonderfully sickening orange drink, but it also means to break, pound, or grind; to overwhelm or oppress severely (as in a rebellion); to extract or obtain by pressing or squeezing; to defeat or humiliate utterly, as in argument or by a cruel remark; a decisive or critical moment or situation; to hug, especially with great force; to press upon, shove, or crowd. Lots of great uses for several different occasions. Then, when you put them all together, you get the most profound of all of the definitions: an intense but usually short-lived infatuation, a burning desire to be with someone. Sort of sounds like all of the other definitions pared down into one overwhelming emotion; which is what it is.

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A&Q

Fellow Humans, I have a question, a question that has plagued me for lo these past almost ten years of my life. A question that even to this day (and inevitably for the foreseeable future) which befuddles my mind, throws into doubt the way I think the world should work and concerns me regarding the destiny of humanity as a whole. A question both lacking in and saturated with profundity that people ask themselves the same question in one breath and then wonder why they would ever think of it the next. Even now part of me doesn't want to bother asking the question because I know there are two fundamental answers; one which defines the human condition as it exists now and the other which describes an ideal humanity has had in the past and (hopefully) can obtain again in the future.

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