Tuesday, July 1, 2014 at 12:49PM Well, I have worked myself into a right fit of rage today. The day started out really well; I woke up at a decent time, had a nice shower and shave, enjoyed my coffee and went in to work. I've sat here by myself (probably part of my issue) and have done my work and been fairly productive. I really do try to make every day a good day.
Monday, June 30, 2014 at 10:40AM "Patience is a virtue" "Everything comes to him who waits" "They also serve who stand and wait" "Patience surpasses learning" "Beware the fury of a patient person"
Tuesday, June 24, 2014 at 8:34AM This is going to be titled either trust or truth. Actually I can't decide if I can talk about one without talking about the other. They are inexorably linked, and perhaps so much so that they cannot be separated into two distinct topics. Nor can I decide what their relation is; initially it appears to be causal, one has to be told the truth in order to trust; or one has to trust that the truth is being spoken, or when one feels there is no truth then there is trouble with trust. The more I think about it, the less simple it becomes. I believe we inherently trust that we are being told the truth. I believe we are geared to think that people would be forthcoming with their expectations, motives, wants, desires, etc. In that case, trust always comes first; it is only through our experiences with others that we learn to trust more or less, and that trust hinges on whether or not we perceive the truth from those with whom we have contact.
Thursday, May 29, 2014 at 11:13AM Change is fucking awful. Humans are terrible at it; terrible at recognizing it, terrible at accepting it, resist it to the detriment of themselves and terrible at changing themselves when they have to, need to or even want to. I considered myself fairly decent at change, I lived in a new place every year or every other year, I was able to go in and out of relationships without too many difficulties and I could be quite flexible when it came to new and different situations. But those things aren't change; they're quite the opposite, or at least how I handled them wasn't change. I lived in a new place in an attempt to change something, anything about myself but never really made any personal shift; I lived in the same town, had the same job, had the same friends (read: zero) and kept all of my old stuff. Except for that one 6 month period that's a subject of many other stories. I never actually did any changing though, the crap I attempted to leave behind came with me. As far as relationships go I never really learned anything about myself or about other people and really just went through them, again with few exceptions, like I was changing my clothes. I never learned anything, I was never a better person for having gone through them, I was probably worse for the way I often treated people, and I went on to the next one in the hopes of relieving myself of the burden of loneliness without having looked at the root cause and done anything to change it.
Friday, May 23, 2014 at 9:51AM Let's face it; life is hard. I mean, it can be at times. No one handed me an instruction manual on how to live a good, decent life; to make the right decisions for myself and for those around me; to handle mistakes with dignity and poise and to use those mistakes to make better decisions in the future; and how to live every day with the satisfaction of having made the right choices, or without being punished by making the wrong ones. No, life doesn't come with a technical manual, because either said manual would be so large as to be unreadable by anyone within a lifetime, or absolutely unuseable because what works for one person under one set of circumstances does not, or can not, work for another. Instead, we have to write the manual for our own lives. We have to learn what we love and what we hate; we have to make decisions, most of them on the spot, with little information or foresight into the possible outcomes; and we have to live with those decisions. We have to make a life all on our own.
