A&Q

Fellow Humans, I have a question, a question that has plagued me for lo these past almost ten years of my life. A question that even to this day (and inevitably for the foreseeable future) which befuddles my mind, throws into doubt the way I think the world should work and concerns me regarding the destiny of humanity as a whole. A question both lacking in and saturated with profundity that people ask themselves the same question in one breath and then wonder why they would ever think of it the next. Even now part of me doesn't want to bother asking the question because I know there are two fundamental answers; one which defines the human condition as it exists now and the other which describes an ideal humanity has had in the past and (hopefully) can obtain again in the future.

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the city

the city. It has such a beautiful ring to it, the city. It sounds like such a magical, wondrous place where things occur, dreams come true, love is found and lost, people establish their place in the world. Most of that is true I suppose. The city is so ambiguous that it can mean many things to many people, which is one of its charms.

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so that's where i left that

In an attempt to both hate people less and be outside more, I've started to walk the last mile or so from work to home. The weather's been nice, so despite the sweating and panting and the dirty looks I get from people because I'm smoking and the incessant bump from my messenger bag slapping my ass (in just the way I like it), it isn't bad for a walk. Now typically when I'm walking home I get this nasty sense of foreboding, as if something bad is going to happen to me along the way; like running into an ex (or any other person I'd rather not talk to but kind of secretly want to talk to) or being accosted by a bum who somehow thinks I owe it to him (and myself) to give him some money, or (possibly the worst scenario possible) I am absolutely ignored, invisible, non-existent. As if I were one of those images you catch in the corner of your eye that when you turn to look at it isn't actually there.

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what I lost.

At first, i was sad to see the show end because I feel as if some of my best friends died. Cause, you know they all were dead at the end, right? Spoiler alert. But as I thought about it I slowly realized that all of my best friends are tv characters. Let me say that again, all of my best friends are tv characters. When Captain Kirk died in Generations, I cried; when Dumpledore died, I cried; when Sara and Chuck got together, I cried; when Dawn and Tim finally kissed, I cried. Tv characters become my family, my friends, my life; when they're sad, I'm sad; when they're happy, I'm happy.

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Society, you suck.

I’m not normally one to blame my problems on someone else; truth be told, I usually take on an inordinate amount of blame. There is, however, something I know isn’t my fault and that I can, in fact, place some of that blame on you, society.

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